Ben feat Gim - Engel
Selbst Engel weinen - Engel leiden
Engel fühlen sich mal alleine
Sie verzweifeln wie jeder andere
Fallen tief und haben Feinde
Angels cry too - angels suffer
Angels feel alone too
They are desperate like any other
They fall deep and have enemies
I dunno how this is going to sound, but I’m going to write it anyway. I don’t mean to complain or anything, I’m just typing what I thought about.
So, I figured that I’m going to be 23 in April and I’ve never ever been on a date. I mean, yeah, there was this guy who took me out in the park when I was like in the 6th or 7th grade, but um, that’s all. I’d love to just go out on a date, just one, to see how it is and then, it’ll be ok if I never went out again.
I’d just like to see if I could deal with it. But, it’s not going to happened any time soon, so, yeah. Up until some time ago, I thought that it maybe because I’m not thin, but I’ve seen people of all sizes dating, so then I thought to myself, nah, it isn’t this. Then, it occurred to me that I may not be attractive, not only physical beauty, but my personality and so on. So, yeah, that’s all I had to say.
Thanks for reading my ramblings:)
Ok, so I’m watching CNN covering the election of the new Pope and it is very interesting and somehow, my faith in humanity was restored, because they’ve chosen a Pope from outside Europe. It shows us that there is faith for a better place here.
Even very old traditions can be broken, if the people are worthy, I mean it gets to show us that it only matters what people do, not their nationality or wherever they’re from. And they’ve said that this Pope is a very humble man, which is great, because it means that he practices what the Church preaches.
Anyway, I’m detached from all this, because I’m not a Catholic. But, it was very emotional to see a sea people being quiet, in order to pray to God in silence. Touching.
So, once, somebody told my Mother that I have the face of a doll. I dunno if that’s true or not, but it’s cute, I guess, to be told that :)
So, you know, I was always thinking that people wouldn’t like me, because I am not thin, cuz, well, that’s what we’ve been taught and the media seems to promote it on and on. I thought than when they see me, even though they don’t know anything about me, they surely won’t like me.
But, it seems that from some time now, I discovered that it doesn’t matter that. It doesn’t matter if people don’t like you because you’re not thin or whatever.
If I am who and what I am and if I love myself for who I am, it’s all that matters. If I believe in myself, if I like who I am, it’s all that matters. People who want to be my friends will do it, because of who I am, not because of my weight.
Sandy Szwarc -How We’ve Come to Believe Overeating Causes Obesity (via hityoutwo)
EVERYBODY SHOULD READ THIS
Christina Aguilera - Can’t Hold Us Down
So, what am I not supposed to have an opinion?
Should I be quiet just because I’m a woman?
I’ve been thinking about writing this post for some days. And now I finally got the chance and perhaps the courage to do it.
When I was younger and, occasionally, even now, I got the “you would be even more beautiful if you just lost some weight”, “it’s for your health” and so on and so forth. I’ve been told by people around me (and also, by the media) that if you’re not thin, you’re not going to make it, no guy will ever like you and all that jazz. Up to some point, I believed it.
However, I did make it, I do have a degree in International Relations from the best University in my country with the top grade. I did get the best grades in my first semester of my Master’s programme. So, “amazingly” my weight amounted to nothing when they decided to grade my papers. As for the guys part, it’s true I had no bf, however, having or not having a bf/gf is not a standard to judge people, just the same as the weight, size, skin colour and so on. That’s what I believe, anyway.
So, now, I’m ok with myself, I love myself more than I ever did, yet I do have days where I feel very ugly and fat. But not as many as when I was younger, I used to consider myself the worst, I thought I was the ugliest, that I was no good because I wasn’t thin, I wasn’t and still am not what society deems attractive. I couldn’t stand looking at myself in the window shops, I would pass by them so quickly. But, one day, I decided I am in control of how I feel about myself and I decided I should love myself, because if I didn’t, who would?
Also, I’ve discovered that no matter how many times you hear you are beautiful, you won’t fully believe it, until you believe so yourself. Until you find beauty within you, you won’t understand what others are saying to you. It’s not just about physical beauty, it goes beyond that. It’s that joy you find when you discover that it’s ok to be who you truly are, it’s ok to be yourself. When you accept who you are, that’s when the journey to achieving self love begins.
Hope what I wrote makes sense. Thanks for reading my ramblings!